Monthly Review · Rate & Discuss · Set Goals
| Rule | Why |
|---|---|
| No phones during check-in | Full presence shows respect |
| Listen without defending | Understanding before responding |
| Use "I feel" not "You always" | Avoids blame, encourages openness |
| End with appreciation | Positive reinforcement builds connection |
| Schedule monthly | Consistency prevents buildup |
Research by Dr. John Gottman found that stable relationships maintain at least a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. Five compliments, laughs, or kind gestures for every one criticism or conflict.
| Positive | Negative |
|---|---|
| Showing interest | Criticism |
| Being affectionate | Defensiveness |
| Showing you care | Contempt |
| Being appreciative | Stonewalling |
| Finding agreement | Belligerence |